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June 20, 2013

MrFakeName
Executive Chairman
FakeBankName, Inc. (NYSE: FAKE)
Fake Fiftheenth Avenue, Two FAKE Plaza
Fakeburgh, AA 10000

Dear Executive Chairman FakeName:

I am a small business owner in New Egypt, NJ. My bank is FakeNameBank, County Road 222, NewFakeness, NJ, 08533. My business is called “A Word’s Worth Résumés,” as stated on my FAKEBANK checks. To the best of my knowledge, the management hierarchy at FakeNameBank is comprised of two people, Jack and Jill.

I want you to know that I was — and am still — utterly disappointed in the manner in which Jack and Jill handled a problem that occurred with my business checking account. When I called Jack on Thursday, June 13, 2013 to discuss how the problem that had occurred could easily be avoided in the future, Jill supposedly wrote down my phone number and assured me that Jack would call me back. I never received that phone call.

More importantly, the problem SHOULD NEVER HAVE OCCURRED because, as Jack stated, “Inappropriate overseas transactions are immediately flagged.” Mr. FakeName, I, by reviewing my 5/9/2013 online bank statement, noticed that $322.49 and $356.12, respectively, were charged to my account from FakeNameNutritionCenter LLP XXXXX5555GB. The “GB,” fyi, is Great Britain. The overseas account breach was not “flagged” by either Jack or Jill. Instead, I, little ‘ole Nina who has to run a business, feed a family, and periodically check her online bank status to ensure adequate funds are, in fact, at hand, IMMEDIATELY brought to the attention of Jack and Jill this checking-account breach.

When I called FakeNameBank on June 13 and reached Jack on the phone, he explained rather nastily that he was busy expanding FakeName business by opening up a new account and assured me that Jill would call me back by the end of the day. (I mean, who could blame, Jill, for cutting me short because, after all . . what’s more important . . . keeping existing customers happy or driving forward business development initiatives to bring in more and more and more customers. No contest, right?).

But I digress . . . I was treated with disrespect and disregard during the June 13 phone call. All I wanted, at that time, was to calmly and cohesively work out a solution with FakeNameBank so that the problem would not happen again to my, or any other, small business.

Unfortunately, however, neither Jack nor Jill of FakeNameBank ever bothered to call me back. (Who woulda thunk . . .?) In closing, Mr. Executive Chairman FakeName, I run a small business. Having been in business since 1989, I know that my customers always come first. I wonder if FakeNameBank management has forgotten this basic CRM tenet.

Sincerely,
Nina K. Ebert
President, A Word’s Worth Résumé Writing and Career Coaching Service
Certified Professional Résumé Writer / Career Coach . . . Truly Serving Clients Since 1989

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